The first song I played when I first crossed into Leon County August of 2021 was “Starting Over” by Chris Stapleton; this was intentional. I had waited months to play that exact song as I started a new chapter in my life, letting the song serve as good fortune and luck into the life I had up ahead. Now, I do plan on doing the same when I move to New York, I just thought there would be more time in between the “starting over”s.
I’ve called Tallahassee an extension of my home for two years. Florida state was never my dream school, and to be fair, it wasn’t even in my top ten in high school. I applied to Florida state because it was my boyfriend at the time’s dream school and I applied just in case we wanted to stay together in college (everything everyone tells NOT to do). In the spring of my senior year, I got into FSU, and I didn’t pay too much attention to my acceptance because I was already committed to Jacksonville University & I was content with those plans. Life always has a funny way of pushing you in the direction you were meant to go in and I found myself at Florida state in the fall of 2021 after some wrong left turns and misdirection 18 year old me had.
I sit here now, writing this blog in the ROTC building (HJB), a place that I’ve spent an incriminating amount of my time in. I sit in the company of friends I had made in my two years here, both meeting these two individuals at different times, one my freshman year of college and the other my sophomore year of college. I look across the table at Donovan, remembering all the word vomit that would spill out of my mouth as a naive 18 year old, just for him to absorb it all and give the advice he wished he had listened to when he was in my shoes. Liz sits diagonal to me, I realize how little time we have known each other in the grand scheme of things, and I count my blessings of the people I met during my time in the Seminole battalion.
All the organizations and clubs i joined at this university has gently and full heartedly created the love i have for the school; they have allowed me to take pride in my place of work and education, and a joyful reminder of all the adoration for all these people in my instagram bio that i will be heart broken to remove. This is my way of saying goodbye and thank you in the way i know best: a letter.
The Seminole Battalion will always have a piece of my heart as I grow into the person I know I am meant to become. The friendships I have made in this program have not only made me a better leader, soldier, cadet, but a kinder friend and better person. This goodbye is my most challenging battle as this story was never meant to end this quickly. We were suppose to have two more years together, we were suppose to commission together, have two more milballs, see each other get our branches, and more god-awful wake ups for PT together. my class and I have seen many people come in and out of the program in the two years we have been in it, and I never really truly processed that I now will only be a person they speak about in remembrance, the way I will do them. My time spent in this building and with the friends I met right here will always be known as a beautiful time in my life, and I can only hope for them to make even more amazing and haunting memories that linger here for the years to come, the way I know we have done the past two years.
There are women who made the path for me in this program, Olivia Litle, Grace Landers, Rachel Stronko, & Hannah Tole, and this group of women, to this day, take the time to be the mentors and leaders I am proud to have gotten to know, the way I hope to do one day. the men in this program that filled the male roles in my life, ascher & ethan, teaching me all the correct ways men should act and support you platonically. & the girlies that taught me the importance of loyalty and having each other's backs, the ideology of having women in your life that would mention your name in a room full of opportunity, shania, kynsey, dally, liz, & soph. Luckily for me, the army is a small world and I hope our path cross again, but until then, to my friends in the seminole battalion, take care of yourself and stay happy and excited for the journey ahead. To my commissioning class of 2025, this upcoming year is your Super Bowl, its all up to y’all now! hiphiphooray:)
There are seven days that separate me from now and packing my car up and leaving. I have been blessed enough to not only have memories from ROTC, but also with the lovely ladies of the FSU Club Softball Team, who have done more for me than I think that they realize. I swore off playing softball ever again my senior year. I had lost all love I had for the game, allowed coaches to make me hate a sport I had spent my whole love falling in love with, and just threw 10 years of my life out the window. This was an easy decision for me to make if I’m being honest. I always knew, especially as I got older, that softball wouldn’t be a long term endeavor of mine, so when it was time to put it to rest, I was at peace. In the fall I made the FSU club softball team that I decided to tryout for on a whim (incredibly grateful and blessed to be apart of this team).
I talked to a handful of girls over tryouts and a large part of us had one thing in common: coaches made us hate the sport at one point or another. The one thing I can say is that after months of becoming these women’s teammate and friend is that all these ill feelings towards the sport have disappeared with every day spent together on the diamond. Without knowing much about ROTC or the Army, they always blindly cheered me on, they gave me a breath of fresh air in the game of softball, and, ultimately, healed my inner high school softball player. i have never met a team more full of love than this team, and I couldn’t have been luckier to have the opportunity to play softball in college with these women.
Florida State Student Government is life is filled with the most selfless and passionate people I’ve had the pleasure of working with. FSU Class Councils is one of my proudest accomplishments to ever been apart of. The events, meetings, and bonds made in this group of people is something I never planned on ever being apart of. Class Councils allowed me to have the much needed break from ROTC every week and just be a regular FSU student. I met people I never thought I would ever come across and I thank all the little stars and the seminole spirit for allowing me the opportunity to be apart of this group.
Because of the confidence and nature of Class Councils, I ran for a Union Board Seat and that too is something incredibly special and monumental on campus. This eleven other seat holders only want the absolute best for the students and value the importance of having a neutral and peaceful space for students to come together and spend time in. Slating and running with these wonderful people was one of the grittiest experiences i've ever had and I will hold it close to my heart. To the 59th Union Board & FSU Class Councils, you have made FSU a place people want to be apart of and a place I am proud to have been apart of. FSU student government only wants to see their fellow classmates and peers enjoy everything college and this phase of life has to offer, & they have done THAT and more for me.
As people, we must be able to let go of the life we had planned in order to live the life that is waiting for us. Sometimes things don’t work out, and despite my feelings of wanting this life to have been something I continued with, I know that this place and the people in it will do special and inspiring things in their future without me here, & I am glad to have had a sliver of time with them. Sure enough, there is yet more learning to be done, just not here, Florida state, thank you for the time and space you’ve provided me with to become a seminole. #gonoles
with all my love,
♡steff
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