Short answer: no. ive always been attracted to older friends. my sophomore year of high school, I was only friends with seniors. I did everything with them and when they graduated, I was left to my own accord. They moved on with their lives, and I had to do the same. After that hard come to reality that I should put more effort into becoming friends with people my own age, I was more conscious over becoming attached to older crowds.
When I got to college, I genuinely had no expectations of becoming friends with people older than me. I knew id be surrounded with a ton of people who were older because of rotc, but I never wanted to find myself in the same place I was junior year without my friends at lunch because they left. Even though I put effort into becoming friends with the people in my class, ive never found better senior friends than the ones I met as a freshman in college.
I’ve always wanted to have a piece of wisdom from all the people I meet in my life. I think that’s the majority of the reason why I keep becoming friends with older people. it’s almost like a way of time travel. A way for me to imagine what I’ll be like when I’m their age; what struggles I can prepare myself for or what I want my life to look like in the future years…They offer me a new perspective and solid advice that I know they wish they had at my age.
To give context, I spent my entire day with my friend Andrea, who graduated from FSU in the summer. I sat in the car on FaceTime with my other graduated friend, liv, and caught her up on the updates she’s missed since graduating in the spring and moving to Oklahoma. And to end my night, I facetimed grace, ANOTHER spring graduated and watched her pack her life into boxes as she prepares to move to ft. Rucker, Alabama (special shoutout to grace because she inspired this blog post). With all of this being said, we have all went our separate ways, at least most of us. They were already in my shoes, they knew exactly how I felt because they had already been through it. And I find that the most intriguing part of our friendships.
When I was 16, I depended on all of my senior friends to drive me places. They taught me the importance of independence and made me more confident in myself. Of course, I felt super cool. It’s the best way to explain it. I was getting rides home by seniors in their cars, rather than the school bus like my peers. I came into myself at 16 because of the friends I had. They’re mature humor and age gave me the gate way to develop myself to act the way I envisioned I would be like at 18. I think that’s why many people think I’m “mature” my age. I always felt like I needed to act older to compensate for my age.
I also find a bit of comedy of the difference in the ages of my friend and i. i almost refuse to believe they were once my age, especially when they're at least four years older than me. i cant imagine what they were like at my age and i think even more about if we
So yes, I do find myself in the same place I was junior year of high school. Relying on phone calls and texting to stay in touch with the friends I became so accustomed to having at my finger tips. But I’d rather have things be the way they are. i truly believe the distance and the different phases of our lives says a lot about the dynamic of our friendships. They remind me of where I want to be at their age, remind me that I still have all this time in my life to figure my stuff out. They give me a sense of peace of the place I am in life and an overwhelming feeling of pride because I hope to be like them when I grow up.
To the friend group I had when I was 16, thank you for making me feel like I belonged amongst you. To the friends I made at 18, thank you for teaching me the value of patience and learning from my mistakes. The small amount of time that our lives aligned to be together will always be held in a special place in my heart, and you have taught me more than I could have ever learned somewhere else.
with all my love,
♡steff
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