you will be indifferent & move on from your heart break that probably didn’t end with the closure you wanted, but, instead, with the inner capabilities & confidence to one day move on. to anyone who is heart broken, one day you will no longer cry when you think about them, and all the happy moments you shared-that conveniently drown out all the bad things that did happen to cause you to go your separate ways-will cease to exist from your mind. in time, you won’t wish you had lasted any longer, instead you will just chuckle at the past & wish it well, waiting for it to be replaced with better memories with better people.
one day, you will scroll through the abyss of social media & see a picture of them & realize they turned into the person they promised you they’d become…but YOU. DID. TOO. i softly laugh to myself about the past when i see couples planning out their future endeavors, knowing i once used to make plans with a previous boyfriend of mine & one of those planned endeavors was our breakup; how morbid is it to have a premeditated break up date, it’s what happens when too much pride is in the way of your own happiness & sanity. they say when you break up, you break up two times: 1) when you leave & 2) the last time you cry, &, i promise you, will get to that last cry & you won’t even know it’s the last time you’ll cry about them; this is a blessing in disguise. i also think there’s comedy in hoping you come back to each other, to fully break up with the hope that one day, years down the line, you will get back together- to some extent, right person, wrong timing doesn’t exist, the right people make the timing right. it’ll one day just hurt less, you won’t even remember the sound of their voice; i promise you, you think it won’t happen & then one night you’re trying to put the pieces together on someone you thought you’d love forever & you can’t even remember the most basic things about them, quite relieving once you think about it-forgetting them makes more room for the remembrance of other people you decide to fill your life with.
i think it’s cute we’ve all deep down believed we’d remember everything about our past significant others. spoil alert: you’re going to forget their birthday; it’ll be a random thursday & you won’t realize it’s their birthday until MAYBE someone brings it up & you try to remember what you got them for their last birthday & you can’t remember. you’ll see the same model of the car they used to drive when you sang songs out of love- the ones you let it drive you deeper & deeper in love- & you will just think the car looks cool because there’s nothing to fear because they don’t live in the same city as you anymore. these are all things to look forward to-all the reason to grow up and out of love when cupid takes out his arrows out of the both of y’all & decides to save them for people you haven’t even met yet.
be the ex they never hear from again. you can hope they accomplish everything they want in this life while still hoping you never hear anything about it. you were never going to have the good relationship you always wanted with them. stop wanting to start over with them, there are so many other people out there that are DYING to just START from square one with you, with no extra baggage you may or may not have caused, & with no previous heart break that’s taste still lingers with every word spoken in their direction.
you’re going to quietly fall out of love with them-with no contact & no friendship to lean back on. the finality of a lot of break ups are probably the kindest thing they possibly could’ve done; they didn’t give you the satisfaction of coming back, or crawling back to you admitting they were wrong, or begging you to take them back…they left & never came back. you have to be real with yourself & come to terms with the fact that that’s not their place anymore. it’s not up to them to ask you if you ate today, or if you made it home safe, or if you had a good day-start asking yourself the questions you wished they were asking you & you might find you had all the love right inside of you, waiting for you to find & finally appreciate.
sure, you might laugh at what i just wrote, think it’ll never apply to you, that you will never break up with your significant other or that you might there never get over your ex. if this is you, i’m glad you exist. i’m glad that there are parts of you that stays loyal to the people around you-never lose that part of you. but, if you are going through a breakup, be glad you are the one that got away. be glad you are the one that will haunt them in their mind, the one who continued to be gone & confused them on how you continued to stay that way, the one they never see again because they will always romanticize the one they aren't with anymore; people are capable of missing you way more than they were capable of loving you.
mutual silence is better than realizing that you are now two completely different people.
with all my love,
♡steff
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