now, before you think i’m gonna tell you that if you want a new boyfriend/girlfriend, get new friends so they can find you one…this is not that conversation. this is about how unexpectedly loving life can feel when you have the right people by your side. i say this ALL the time, but i am BEYOND lucky to have the people in my life that i can call a friend. i think about how my life doesn’t feel lonely; i don’t sit around, thinking about how much i’d love to have a boyfriend out of loneliness or boredom, & i can thank my friends for that reason.
i often say “why would i ever need a boyfriend” when my friends do something that is above and beyond for friendship, things that you would expect out of a relationship. i say it when delaney takes off my boots for me at the end of the duty day; when annabel gives me the most gigantic hug everyday; when boobie pays for my nails to get done; when bridger grabs me something i asked for; when brie texts me a “good morning, kick ass today” message every morning; when brooklyn & jacen sit in my room for hours to talk about random thoughts; when ethan knows everything about me; when hannah watched me grow up and love me regardless of whatever phase i went through; and when ascher picks up the phone so i can rant my heart out to him. there is so much blatant love in my life & i am constantly getting my bucket filled with so much love, that at this moment in time, i have no desire for a romantic relationship.
maybe life is all about eating food with your friends & maybe i am a little bit in love with all my friends. how could i not be when they put their happiness and trust in my hands? platonic love is real & extremely important. i hope you all find friends that you are in love with platonically. everyday, my hidden agenda is wanting to hear everything my friends did that day, what they were like growing up, who raised them, and what they hope to become one day, as they sit on the foot of my bed or on the foldable chair i have shoved in my closet that invites them to stay a little while longer.
the little habits you pick up from your friends is a little reflection of how much care you have for them. we become a reflection of the people we adore, & those personality traits stick with us, even if one day those people don’t. i tie my boots the way a friend showed me how to 5 years ago, i still listen to the playlist a boy who once used to love me made for me, i still pop my popcorn a certain way because of a girl i no longer speak did it, & there are movies and books i love because my friends love them. i love so many things in this world because someone i loved loved them first; we are mosaics of everyone we’ve ever loved, keep those traits close to you.
i know love is real and worth the risk because my friends & i are full of it; i feel their safety and comfort in their love for me. i know that when i get the opportunity to fall romantically in love, it will be easy for me because of all the friends i have that show me just how uncomplicated love can be. make life more intentional. dancing with your friends is just as important as picking up groceries, tuck sweet words away for one of your friends to find one day, spend your change on flowers for your friends, blurt out compliments to those you love, send memes to your friends that you think would make them giggle, offer a smile to an acquaintance in passing, & carry a spare napkins with you at all times in case someone needs it.
friendship is a wonderful thing; two people just like each other enough to spend passing moments together, & the continue to choose to do that over and over again. it’s special how diverse human relationships are, every friendship is special. for some unknown reason, certain people just enjoy each other & i think we take that for granted. so with all of this being said, find the people who will fill your cup with love to sip on until you find the person you can fill a cup with romance & adoration for.
with all my love,
♡steff
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