being an adult is as exciting and worth wanting as your younger self made it out to be; it’s something worth waiting and longing for. the freedom and independence that comes with adulthood accompanies the sweetness of knowing that you are finally to your own devices. the past two months of this year has been the most “adult” I have felt in the last two years of adulthood that I have experienced. I think about it often when I drive to meet the friends that never knew my high school self, the people that don’t know the names of those that were once the pillars of my life and those who have been outgrown and left behind to only exist in my mind as the 16 and 17 year olds we used to be, and all the versions of myself that evolved to who I am now.
I have a lot of great days, they are not few and far between, but, instead, consistent and expected. There is an immense amount of pride that I carry with me over the peace I have created for myself. scott o’neil presented a “formula” for mental health as a guest on “On Purpose, With Jay Shetty”, “you do something for your mind, something for your body, and something for your soul everyday. you get the right amount of sleep, you practice gratitude, & be where you feet are, meaning you put your phone down & your head up.” This episode came out a long time ago, & i crossed paths with it on tik tok & that has always stayed with me since my first interaction with it. i like the simplicity of it, how easy it is to do all of these things, but the point that really sold me on it was the intentionality of prioritizing all of these activities into my life; especially as an adult. I will find a way to do all of these things everyday with purpose, give or take the sleep. this intentionality has contributed to my recent recognition of seeing myself as the older version of who I used to be; I no longer look 17 or 15, I look like the adult I am. There is something painfully beautiful about how much time I have used to enjoy the passage of time through being mindful, moving my body, and being in tune with my own soul and higher self, knowing the teenage version of myself, and all the traits that made her immature and naive have been retired.
As an adult, I have kept better company. heavily protecting the standards i have for those in my inner circle. this start of the new year has been one of my best in my enjoyment of how i feel around the people i spend time with. every time i giggle from a text i get in a groupchat, stop to realize how good a moment is when i’m with my friends, or how secure i feel in all my friendships, the 16 year old version of me is overjoyed with the people in my life day-in-and-day-out. i laugh harder than i used to with those who know how love equally as hard; i have been enchanted to have met them by the chance of fate & perfect timing.
There is nothing I adore more than the freedom of being an adult. there's that “aha” feeling of acknowledgement of how much independence comes with the number of an age and the ability to indulge in it. romanticizing adulthood can be intoxicating sometimes, only showing the great parts of what it’s like to finally be on this side of life, but sometimes it is truly something romantic. finally not asking your parents for permission, staying out as late as you want, making your own money, fully having 100% control of what you do everyday, and the mutual stress shared amongst adults everywhere is something worth wanting. I am lucky enough to have collected more than a couple dozens of relieving moments of bliss that I have no one to thank other than the simplicity of “I did it because I could”, and there is nothing more thrilling than the sensation of realizing that you are about to become the version of yourself you always wanted to be because of your own free will and own accord. Adulthood is as amazing as the movies make it out to be, and it is something you SHOULD romanticize. Being an adult and being responsible is challenging! There will be periods you feel lost, out of touch with yourself and the world around you, and there will be days were you feel like you are suffocating in the abyss of time moving faster than you care for it to. somewhere between now and then, you will trade in permission into actions and desire into the reality of your own creativity.
you’re never going to be as young and as you are right now, and I don’t mean this in a “go party your youth away” way, but instead in the treatment of life and those in your environment. smile at a stranger, journal your feelings, go dancing on a random tuesday night when you know you should be in bed, shoot your shot with that person that came to mind when you read this, and value your health. indulge in your health now and take care of what the span of 18-23 has in store for you. to the kiddos who are still in high school, thirsty for a taste of adulthood, do your best to remember how quickly december became march when the days start to feel never ending; adulthood will be right here waiting for you.
with all my love,
♡steff
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