maybe you were just growing up, maybe you were just starting to get to know yourself & i was caught in the cross fire, & maybe you were just a teenager. one of my more better qualities is my ability to not take things personal. i’m really good at forgiving the people that have wronged me because of the chance that they were just trying to figure things out & i was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.
i have hurt people with my words & my actions, & i am not ignorant enough to deny this. but, knowing this information, i give myself the same grace i give people when roles are reversed in the name of being young. it’s easy to forgive someone when they’re young. people are so green sometimes that they let themselves develop these red flags that are apparent to everyone but themselves. what then? are people just meant to carry these cautionary warnings around with them until one day some unfortunate soul crosses paths with them & they deal with the consequences? yes. it’s a tale as old as time, & sometimes you have to take the unexpecting beating from someone who just didn’t know any better.
people are a reflection of their environment & there’s only so much of you that truly is a creation of your own doing when you’re young; it’s hard to balance the pressures of trying to find yourself, fitting in, & becoming the person you’re meant to be. & because you’re trying to perfect a balancing act at your first go, sometimes things fall apart, & maybe that THING is another person you really cared for but you didn’t know how to dot the i’s & cross the t’s in order to treat them the way they deserved to.
maybe this person is you. maybe on the path of trying to square yourself away & live up to your potential, you took a misstep. maybe you made empty promises, maybe you made a decision you didn’t know how to get out of, & maybe you just changed your mind about someone. to this, the only thing i could advice you to do is be graceful, apologetic, sympathetic, & move on & do better in the future. self accountability plays a huge role in personal growth & you need to be able to admit that as much as you wanna blame the other person, your past, your parents, your friends, or your environment, at the end of the day, it’s you’re fault; it was YOU not THEM. it happens sometimes, it is one of the most human things to do: mess up. when this happens, as unfortunate & unforgivable as it may be, find forgiveness from then &, most importantly, from yourself. you deserve compassion & grace, you’re only human.
the more devastating side of this coin is being the one that was dogged. maybe you fell for the empty promises made, maybe you romanticized everything a little too much that it caused for delusion, & maybe you trusted the words that came out of their mouth that sounded like love, security, & support. you’re not stupid for feeling this way & you’re not silly for wanting to see the best out of this person. maybe they weren’t a terrible person, maybe they were just a kid...but so were you, & it’s okay to grieve the loss of someone you believed in. the art of letting go is special, & as much as everyone wants to make it all about closure from the other party, sometimes you’re just not going to get it. when this happens, become indifferent. this wasn’t your fault & they weren’t meant for you. nothing in this life that is truly meant for you will pass you by. they're times, in between the moments of romance in life where you will think of them, you will be haunted by the idea of what you two were & could’ve been, but in those moments of in between, quietly thank them for the time you spent together & leave it as a memory worth coming back to visit one day. there are still so many people left in this world that you have yet to meet, that you will eventually grow to love, & when you find yourself in heartbreak, remind yourself of this. forgiveness is the yellow brick road to peace.
there’s no timeline or “right” path to reaching forgiveness for them & their actions & you in your belief in them, but once you do reach it, it will make all the difference in the world…& you will be a better person for of it.
sooner or later, we will find ourselves being on both ends of the spectrum; you once hurt someone and someone once hurt you. it’s the latter. growing up & learning comes from these mistakes on both ends, but it comes with time in your adolescence. i have learned that you can miss something & not want it back, it falls under the umbrella of respect. wanting something back doesn’t always mean that you miss it, this falls under self-respect. wish everyone well, wish everyone the level of self-awareness that allows them to grow, & wish everyone the ability to forgive. it’s strange to see evidence of change in people, but it’s happening all around us, simultaneously. allow this to give you hope for the person you are meant to be with & the person you are meant to be.
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