Arguing on move in day is such a universal experience for new college students that it’s almost as nostalgic as any tv show watched as a kid or a home cooked meal made by mom. Arguments are one of the most healthy releases in my opinion. Of course, there’s an extent, but in my mind, arguments show passion on the other side of the spectrum that everyone doesn't intend to approach; arguments are almost like the forbidden land to be in with someone you love.
It’s an emotional day for everyone. Student are rushed with all the new feelings of an unknown environment with thousands of possibilities, independence, and the anticipation of starting their new chapter, while parents are faced by the reality that was always slowly approaching them: their baby leaving home. But let me tell you, those arguments make for an easier goodbye!
Looking at the big picture of arguing on move in, it's a memory that can remind someone of home, something that they may not experience for months at a time. It reminds families that there is something worth fighting for, something worth caring for. The intentions behind these silly arguments mean well. Mom trying to help you arrange all your belongings, but you don’t like how she did it. Dad trying to build you your new furniture, but he’s getting upset at the instructions and projecting it towards loud conversation happening around him. It’s all things that will act as a souvenir when your parents close that door and head back home, without you.
As I enter my second year of college, I think of the arguments with my mom as what they were: pointless and stupid. Some arguments felt like they were so detrimental towards our relationship that, at the time, felt like those feelings would always stay bitter between the both of us. I moved into my new apartment yesterday. Tensions were high over dealing with my apartment complex, things being forgotten back at home (four hours away smh), and the tension of knowing we won’t be coming home to each other for months.
My mom and I consider each other our most “favorite roommates” we’ve ever had. The appreciation and love I have for my mom is an homage for another time, but I know behind every small argument we had yesterday, it was fueled by the suffocating feeling of not having each other in the physical. I'm the youngest of three, and the only, daughter, and my mom and I have found a harmony amongst each other that often can be disrupted, as all relationships get sometimes. When I first moved out last year, my first year in college, every small argument made me more excited for her to leave. The most typical teenager mindset to have, “I can’t wait to be on my own and not get yelled at like a little kid”. We’ve all been there. There's a point after high school that immediately makes you feel like you’re above being grounded or bossed around by your parents. It’s normal! But as the last bit of belonging got unpacked, trash got taken out, and hugs were exchanged, I had forgotten what every argument we’ve had in my last 19 years were about.
As my mom said her final goodbyes, I remembered all the good parts of living at home. I remembered how difficult it was on depending on phone calls to tell her how I was feeling throughout my day. Remembered how lonely college can get with voids that can only be filled by family. I miss my mom everyday and it's not a secret. I talk to her everyday. But as I get older, arguments on move in day have made goodbyes that much harder. And I think that’s a sign on my own maturity.
Happy first week of college everyone:)
with all my love,
♡steff
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