two months ago, i could’ve told you my five year plan. i could’ve told you how i hoped to be married in five years, maybe a kid on the way, & a house of my own. how i wanted to branch aviation, & hoped to be getting promoted to captain in five years. i would’ve told you the people i would’ve had in my wedding party, who my maid of honor would’ve been, & how badly i wished for my grandparents to see me commission, marry, & have one of their grandkids before they must soon be to the mansions of rest.
my five year plan looks nothing like it did 60 days ago. my five year plan includes classes instead of wedding plans, SAMIs (saturday am inspections) instead of decorating my own house with the love of my life, & morning formations instead of traveling plans. i always justify my decision to come to west point with “the next five years will pass regardless, what i would you rather be doing?” & while i still would rather be here, doing this with my time, i still mourn the future i had bet on for the majority of my life.
plans change, & depending on what higher power you believe in, God has had this life plan of yours figured out well before you said your first lines of gibberish that your mom confused for your first words. i believe in the destiny God has mapped out for me, especially since it includes the version of myself that ended up going to west point, but i had come to peace with all the things i would’ve accomplished in five years & the people i would’ve accomplished them with at the same time as them.
for now, my five year plan states as follows: commission as a 2Lt. in the army, become an aviator & start BOLC-maybe engaged sometime not too long after. while this new five year plan isn’t as glamorous as the one that came before it, it’s still as desiring & worth looking forward to as the last one. five year from now me thinks i’m charming for putting to bed the person i assumed she would’ve been & coming to love what the next five look like.
be kind to the person you’re meant to be & give gratitude to the person you won’t be anymore.
with all my love,
♡steff
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