maybe in a couple years our paths will cross again & we can meet over a cup of coffee. i will tell you how desperately in love with you i was & follow it with a reminiscent laugh that lingers in the air for you to grasp. you will probably join in the laughter, fading in & out of reality of the person i became and who i used to be; the girl sitting in front of you is the same girl you loved all those years ago, but now she has an older face that is complimented with the maturity to hold herself better than she did as a kid. we can laugh about how we broke each others heart in between our sips of coffee & talk like real people do.
the thought of “meant to be” might cross our minds simultaneously. the gentle reminders of it will be met with the reality that if the universe believed we truly were “meant to be”, it would of let us know. instead of talking about hypotheticals & “what if”s, we will fill the time with all the things we did as people, all the things we promised we would do when we were younger. we’ll talk about the lovers that came after, the friends we made, who don’t know about each others existence, & those who we lost between then & now.
to say i no longer love you is not to say i never did. we moved on and became new people. i missed you in the times following us growing apart. however, i missed you, then i went & made myself breakfast; i missed you, then i went to the grocery store. to say i no longer love you does not speak for our past, or the people we were.
after some time, we’ll wrap up our conversation, and linger for a while longer. we rise from the table, leaving behind our empty coffee cups & the conversations that were filled with adoration. we hug goodbye, you give me a kiss on the cheek as you always did, & we go back to our separate lives. as we walk away from each other, a motion we know all too well at this point, we wonder if it will take years for us to see each other again or if we will become reoccurring characters in each others lives again.
for now, we are friends. we live in harmony & speak to each other with kindness & encouragement. i no longer wish we had lasted any longer, i no longer slip you into my prayers, begging God for another chance to be yours, and i no longer wonder what your life looks like. i now know who you became and come to terms with the role i had in your development in this life. i'm glad i met you, too.
take care, always
with all my love,
♡steff
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