your perspective of life changes when you get a younger sibling, all older siblings know this. i didn’t find out til i was in my 20s what that feeling truly felt like— what it was like to want someone to achieve everything they set their heart & mind to, & what it’s like to want to protect & shelter them from everything bad in this world. my first semester roommate at west point, annabel nash, is the best roommate i’ve ever had; i'm pretty sure she will continue to have this title for the rest of my life. my relationship with annabel is one that reminds me that there are still people out there in the world that are going to love me & that i will love. i never imagined i’d come to west point & find the perfect little sister in annabel, but thinking about how much love & care i have for her is astronomical and infinite. while i never visualized my home to be half way across the country, in a four by four box, she has made somewhere i can call “ours”.
i was the youngest in my family for a majority of my life, until my beautiful niece and nephew came into the world. with that being said, i always took on the younger sibling role. my mom was a lot more lenient on me than she was on my brothers. i'm my grandparents’ favorite grandchild, every room in my mothers house has a picture of me in it, & i am the quintessential “baby of the family”. obviously i knew i’d take more of an older sister role when i came to west point, i'm two & three years older than my peers, & it was time for me to step up the way my older friends & mentors did for me. so, when a very short, almost elf-like, little girl pranced her way into my room on R-Day, i knew it was time to let go of my younger-sibling mentality.
annabel walked into our room, standing at 5’3 & 100 pounds soaking wet, & i immediately underestimated her might. i scanned her up & down, determining in my head if she had what it took to make it here. she asked me small questions that i didn’t have the answers to & it became very evident very quick that there was no getting rid of this little girl…now i know it’s for the better; i prefer it this way.
nashville & i didn’t start off on the right foot. i would consider myself a patient person, but those first four days of basic training, best believe annabel had me questioning EVERY SINGLE OUNCE OF THAT PATIENT. living with annabel that first week was like going to see a new movie with your friend who always asks you “what’s going to happen next?” as if y’all aren’t watching the same movie for the first time. the days of basic training are long & grueling. you don’t eat enough food & you definitely don’t eat any food you truly enjoy. there aren’t many hours in the day left for sleep, & many days were laced with sleep deprivation. so on top of all that hunger, lack of sleep, homesickness, & second-guessing going on, i had a 18 year old girl depending on me for EVERYTHING. i look back now & i laugh about how much i hated the situation i was in. i missed my best friends back in florida & i knew that annabel would have NEVER survived the jungle that florida state was and still is.
but something amazing happened one, a genuine miracle that salvaged our relationship: nash thought i was the funniest person alive. the first week of basic training, we were being put to death by the amount of briefs we had. it was one long brief after another & i did what any sane person with personality would do, i cracked jokes. i would say little comments to myself to make myself laugh, but of course, my elf of a roommate was sitting next to me, & while i didn’t like her all that much at the time, she laughed at everything i said. i’m not too sure what that says about me, the fact that i started to like her because she thought i was funny, but i knew that if she was laughing at whatever i said, she couldn’t be that bad of a kid.
ever since that moment, i have loved annabel. as the weeks of basic training continued, i realized i depended on her for my own survival the way she depended on me. annabel was the only other girl in our squad of ten, so it was pretty easy for us to band together in everything we did. not to mention, annabel is genuinely one of the most hard core people i’ve ever met in my entire life. she could ruck with those little legs of hers like it was nobodies business, she ran with the guys with her quick little feet, she climbed the confidence climb with ease, & she did it all with a smile on her face. throughout every morning pt workout, obstacle course, or crucible we went through, nash was right by my side. it makes me emotional to think about the crucible that she & i did. the crucible was a five hour smoke sesh that had us rucking all over west point in a competition against other squads. the only reason why i made it through the crucible was because of her. no matter how far we had rucked, no matter how much we had to run, & no matter how many hills & mountains we had to conquer, annabel & i did it together. it’s hard to not be imbedded with someone after an experience like that—nothing good ole trauma bonding can’t do for two individuals. annabel is truly a one-of-a-kind individual that west point is beyond lucky to have.
not only is she my sister in arms, but she is my sister in christ. i have had a strong relationship with the Lord growing up, but i see christ in her everyday. I think about how God has a plan for me everyday, and it’s evident in her presence in my life. she reminds me to go to church, she sings worship songs with me in our room or in my car, and she reminds me to read my bible. my love for nash grew in church. every sunday during basic training, we looked forward to religious services. we looked forward to singing & dancing for the Lord & there’s nothing we loved more than listening to the word of God. I remember on the very last religious service of basic training, the one right before the crucible, i had taken a moment to pray. i prayed for our strength to make it through the crucible, the confidence to rely on my team & myself, & i thank God for annabel. while i haven’t known annabel since adam, i know God was just waiting to put her in my life at the right moment.
sure, you can think you have a better roommate than me, but that is simply not true. you become different when you have good people with good intentions around you. i know that for as long as i live nashville is my #1 fan. i never question the loyalty that girl has for me & i would fight tooth and nail for her on any given day. she is someone that i introduce everyone to because i know she is in this for the long haul. someday soon, she won’t stroll into my room asking me to scoot over so she can nap in bed with me. she won’t stand over my desk, trying to talk to me about absolutely nothing because she’s trying to avoid work. & the day will come where she no longer lives 3 feet from me. but in all the moments between then and now, i know that this is the closest i’ll ever get to really having a sibling. someone i share intimate space with, late night secrets, and an overwhelming sense of support from. in this life, we were girls together; i love this life because of that.
with all my love,
♡steff
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